When you think of a fancy dinner in Jackson Hole, do you think of thick steaks? Elk tenderloin? Buffalo burgers?
How about … Lebanese food?
You know: shankleesh (feta cheese with olives and tomatoes, served as a spread on warm pita bread) or lamb fatayer (little meat pies served with yogurt dressing) or big, meaty kebabs? No? Well, sometimes what sounds out of place turns out to be a pleasant surprise. And sometimes, what sounds out of place is just … out of place. And, unfortunately, that’s the case with Figs, the fancy Lebanese restaurant squeezed into a corner of the Hotel Jackson’s lobby.
I picked out Figs with the help of my AI buddy, who paired its Mediterranean-influenced menu with my newer, healthier way of eating. After a long flight and a longer drive, rather than let fatigue tempt me to give in to pizzas or pastas or big slabs of red meat, why not surround myself with heart-healthy greens, low-fat grilled meats, and exotically spiced veggie side dishes? At the time, it sounded like a plan.
With its sleek stone-and-wood interior, tall ceilings, and huge windows, Figs looks impressive enough. But trouble started as soon as we were seated. We waited a long time for one of the harried waitstaff to notice us, and then waited even longer for two glasses of tap water.
Around us, a number of tables were having issues. One couple had ordered two portions of lamb chops; they arrived inedible and, after a lot of haggling, were sent back for replacement (which arrived about half an hour later). Another couple had been overcharged for their meal — something they noticed only after leaving the restaurant. And a woman at the bar, suspicious that her drink didn’t feature the expensive liquor she’d requested, asked to see the bottle … and the bartender declined.
The menu itself proved to be a bit of a surprise, with prices much higher than I expected. To maximize flavor and minimize calories, I had planned on ordering the “fresh catch of the day,” which, as it turns out, was a slab of Alaskan farm-raised salmon — definitely not “fresh caught” in Wyoming. (It was also $52.00, a fact I had to pry out of our server.)
Instead, I went with the next best dietary choice: the grilled chicken kebab — and even it was expensive. Let’s be frank: I’ve had many chicken kebabs, but I’ve never had a $38.00 chicken kebab. Given the price tag, I expected this particular chicken kebab to be the king of kebabs! While tasty enough, it was, in fact, a little dry … and absolutely nothing special.
The best dish on the table? The loubieh — green beans stewed with tomatoes, onions, garlic, and spices. It would have been really good hot, but it was served tepid … and for $14.00, we received about five forkfuls.
Look: as a Southerner, I’m one of the most charitable diners around. I usually eat the too-salty hamburger, choke down the dry catfish, or gnaw my way through the overcooked steak. I rarely send anything back. And — as Clyde and American Express will tell you — I don’t mind paying the price for a memorable meal.
And our night at Figs was memorable, I suppose — especially once we realized we’d spent $140.00 on a dollop of cheese spread, a couple of meat pies, a chicken kebab, and two grilled slivers of lamb. Oh — and this was one of the first times I can remember watching waitstaff and kitchen staff openly squabble in the restaurant bar area.
So, yeah. Memorable.
Tomorrow night, we’re going with a local favorite: the Snake River Grill, home of halibut, bison, duck, and steak. Here’s hoping it’s memorable for all the right reasons!
